Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

sh*t

right back on the valium. and I don't want to talk about it.
So - here are some cool photos from Grotto Bay on Sunday:










Friday, April 22, 2011

choose happy


A little sad today. A great night out with good friends, marred slighty by a hurtful chance encounter.
But how lucky am I to call this Island home?
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Turn it off



F - false
E - expectations
A - appearing
R - real


Thanks Norma.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Earth did not move for me.....

then again....it never has.....

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Vain today

So I'm being vain but I really love my new 'do! I haven't had short hair in ages and I missed it. I was going to wait until my goal weight to cut it but after my wee health scare I decided that waiting for something I really want is foolish! Yesterday was so great, went to the Ag show with Lisi and Gemma and Guy, we had a fabulous time. I got there in time to see Emily ride in competition and it was wicked. So brave to order around a big ass horse like that! When I got home from my run (had to work off the madacadas) I got to hang out with my neighbours, we had a blast playing with his xbox movie maker. I would make a great scarecrow in Oz. The sincerity of my 'If I only had a brain' was moving. Then today - a gorgeous day, a great new haircut, a weigh in not as horrific as I expected it to be after last weeks selfpityathon. I got a little sunburnt yesterday so sticking inside today...... yes I'm Bermudian and yes I invariably neglect to sunblock on the first real sunny day I hang out in. Short week this week and an even shorter one next week - taking a vacation in Bermuda. Can't wait!
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new me!!!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Panic Attack

This:
Is exactly how I feel.

If it wasn't enough of a struggle getting on my feet and carving a new niche for myself, now I'm frickin terrified.

That which doesn't kill us, etc, but I am a little tired of being the one who always seems to have a life lesson to learn from a disaster.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself right now.

Will keep you posted.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Oh Crap.

You all know someone like this. Someone who is well meaning and nice enough, but drives you absolutely batty.

I was out at lunch, on a mission to buy new sneakers. I was excited because honestly, there's nothing I like more than new sneakers.

I took a shortcut through the mall, and bumped into an old aquaintance. I said hello, submitted to a frantic hug, and tried to extracate myself. He FOLLOWED me. To every shoe store I went to. Sitting practically on top of me and talking my ear off. His manic energy distracted me so much, there was no way I could buy my sneakers. At one point, he even said, I hope you don't mind me coming along......Uh, one look at my face should have told you clearly, I do. But I just don't have the bitchiness (surprise!) required to brush someone off. I mean, I did when he asked me out, but in a nice way - "I'm in the book" in reply to "Can I have your number?"...

After I finally escaped, I had a small moment of self pity. Mostly because I had no new sneakers. But also because I wondered, why the hell can't someone that I like be interested in me like that? Really! It is apparently too much to ask. Which is why I've always settled for 'ok, he's allright' and 'I may not get any better'. Well NO MORE! says I. I am far too happy being single right now to settle or give in or give up. People say I must date to find someone, I think that if someone is supposed to be, they will find me. So that's it. Mr. Right, I'm either in the gym, at work, at home or walking on the beach. You now know where to find me.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

So,

it seems I'm establishing a healthy balance of busting my ass, eating well, and enjoying small indulgences. It also seems that, as much as I'm dying to reach my goal weight of 125, I may be meant to be 130. Which is nothing to complain about, I know, I feel healthy and look ok I guess :). But I really wanted to see that 125 on my digital scale! We'll see, maybe I can see it once then be ok with the weight I'm meant to be. My running is coming along, I hit a personal best yesterday and am suffering for it a bit today, but wow did it sure feel great. My trainer was sick on Wednesday so I trained with Sally and she totally thrashed me. It was great! So now I realise that I can work harder with Rupert, and I need to!

I'm in a much better headspace lately. The therapy and the coaching and the training are all working to make me a more comfortable person in my skin. I'm not 'there' yet, but now I know I will be. Someday I'll be golden, and that's my mantra.

Went to Swizzle last night with Kristy and Lisi and Mark, to celebrate Kristy's new job (congratulations Boo!). We had a great time, lots of laughs, good food, and lemon drops, yum. It was so wonderful to be with my friends, the oldest and the newest. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. I hugged everyone at least twice, this is my new thing, I've become very demonstrative. Only within the circle of trust! (Gemma ran up to give me a hug yesterday and Lisi said - that means you're now in the circle of trust - I was chuffed).

AND:
Spring is here