Thursday, October 28, 2010

Georgia on my Mind

I just read one of my favourite blogs Eat Live Run, the author is in Savannah and has posted the most incredible pictures of a bakery Back in the Day Bakery that I will be visiting.

I'm having a god awful morning, work is causing me to take frequent 'round the block walks to calm down.

I decided to take a sanity break online and was instantly transported in memory to this amazing city. I. love. Savannah. I cannot wait to get back there (5 weeks!). I'm going to take about a billion pictures (all of my others are on my broky laptop) and just walk the streets and riverfront for hours and hours. I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

In fact, I'm now entertaining thoughts and plots about how I could possibly move there, someday, soon.

Do you have a special place that you adore, dream about, feel better just thinking about?

I know for a lot of people that place is Bermuda, don't get me wrong, I love my island.

But, right now, my heart longs for Savannah.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Last night I took my first crack at a vegan dessert. Very easy, mind you, baby steps.
It involved graham cracker crust (thank you elves), bittersweet chocolate, coconut and cream of coconut (sweetened, and this was my first encounter. I am hooked).

The most actual preparation went into whisking the cream of coconut to a creamy consistency. This also involved lots of tasting, and resulted in a much later bedtime than usual.

Baked, and my house smelled like sweet, dark coconut heaven. That was the best part. I did not burn it (major bonus) and brought it in to share with my pals at work.

Everyone that tried it seemed to like it, of course at first sample their eyes popped with the sugar slam to the taste buds. :)

I've always liked cooking food. Making tasty vegan and vegetarian dishes to share is rewarding. But not quite as rewarding as making sweet treats to light up the faces of my friends and loved ones.

I may have found a new passion. As long as I continue to give it all away, my finally firm butt will not suffer for it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How to Solve our Human Problems

When things go wrong in our life and we encounter difficult situations, we tend to regard the situation itself as our problem, but in reality whatever problems we experience come from the side of the mind.

If we responded to difficult situations with positive or peaceful mind they would not be problems for us. Eventually we might even regard them as challenges or opportunities for growth and development.

Problems arise only if we respond to difficulties with a negative state of mind. Therefore, if we want to be free from problems, we must transform our mind.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Remarkably Positive

I thought that I'd better capture this before it all goes south...

Dragging out of bed wasn't easy, but once I was up, I was out.

There's a new spin bike @ the gym, so I got to give myself a solo spin class, cranking the Lady G to the max(yes, I know, but it's excellent music for spinning), interspersed with my favourite White Stripes tunes (love you Jack).

Even though I missed my gym buddy this morning (more on that later - this is positive, remember!), I did get a visit before showering and rushing upstairs. Bull-footed (ask Lisi :))because I forget my flip flops - ew.

My smashing colleague Stephen bought me a large soy latte, and I have a work anniversary lunch to look forward to at my favourite restaurant, Harry's. Forgot my camera but maybe I can sneak a photo on my blackberry.

I'm gonna try real hard to hold on to these shiny feelings for the rest of the day....

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Missing Kensington

My sister lives a short walk away from one of the coolest places on the planet, Kensington Market. And although I haven't seen every inch of it, everything I've seen I'm madly in love with.
It's so eclectic and busy. There's every type of person imaginable vending or walking the streets. The stores are small and quirky. I'm all about natural cosmetics, and Desert Essence had us in there for an hour, just looking at everything and trying to limit purchases to almost necessary, at least. I still have my half calabash of shea butter, I'm dying to use it but also reluctant to open it.
The produce grocer's was an eye opener for an island grrl - so many fresh beautiful veggies I merely stood in the door and gawked.

gorgeous. the fruit and my sis
 The many restaurants are a deprived vegetarian's dream. Again, much standing and staring, this time at menu boards and salad bars. Crazy stuff.
I loved this place, but we didn't go in (yet)
And Canadians, so sweet, always stopped and let you take a picture without tromping through it (ahem, hear me Bermudians?)
We had such a great time, we always do. I flew to Toronto to be chased down the street by a Jamaican wanting to put perfumed oil on me...dude, seriously? That happens pretty much every day in Bermuda ;)
And since cheesy grins are our thing
Oh, last but not least, we stopped in here for a 'quick' (yeah not so much) smoothie on our way to mani-pedi heaven. And yes I'm still so goth struck at 37 that I only paint fingers and toes black. This place smelled more heavenly than any other place I've ever had the pleasure of waiting an inordinate amount of time for a smoothie in. And those bagels that weren't bagels but some kind of spinach cheese pastry events? I'm coming for you....

Monday, October 18, 2010


Everything is hurting right now. Stomach, because I'm starving. Head, because I'm so tired and overwhelmed. Legs, because I'm trying to integrate running into my morning cardio routine. Back, because I've been hunched frantically over my desk all morning.
I hate to be the complaining type, after all I have a sweet life compared to many.
But damn! Sometimes things just add up and weigh you down.
I'm on a major emotional roller coaster to top it all off. Just when things seem to be going right, just when there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel...
It's my own fault, I know I should be stronger, or braver, or somethin'.

To lighten up a bit, I listened to my sister and friends and tried the kale soup thing with my huge vat of kale I just wasn't gonna eat. And - hey! It's pretty good. Of course I now have enough to feed a small army, I froze some and will be having it for lunch over the next few days. Soup plus a crusty ww roll? Hang on stomach, it's almost lunch time.

And, hang on me, things will get better.

Sunday, October 17, 2010


So you all know that I've been trying to learn how to take pictures of myself. I've even had someone come over to try to teach me.

So, me tries...
I hold the camera WAY off
Don't even know what went wrong here
Got it!!!

Ha! I love October!
And, I love picasa and picnik! This is what I've been doing all day. "Horror-fying" pictures of myself.
Life? What life?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sneaky Dee's

Me, Faith and Rebekah at Sneaky Dee's in Toronto. We didn't actually get to eat there, but the cheesy entrance photo op grabbed my sis. Who also encourages me to big cheesy grins like this one.
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Crystal a bit miffed, actually

So, I have this facebook friend. I won't get into more detail than that, because, the state I'm in, it won't be positive.

Wednesday, she tagged and posted two pictures of me in my swimsuit. While I'm not quite comparable to a baby beluga, I am not in any way happy enough about my figure to have it posted on a public website.

I see this, on my blackberry, on Thursday morning, early, and message her immediately - PLEASE take those photos down. She says okay, whats your problem, you look hot, lol (which is also on my miff list (see below)).

So I go away muttering but glad that's the last of it. And don't think of it again.....until this afternoon, when I get another message from her, oh yeah, forgot about the pics will take them down tonight, lol. WHAT!?!?! So these f*cking atrocious things have been up for 48 hours? Come ON! I am pissed, and can't do anything about it on my blackberry.

I get home this evening and take them out of my album and un-tag myself, but of course I can't take them out of hers. Which I'm sure she'll keep 'forgetting' to do.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it was common web etiquette not to post pictures of your 'friends' in swimsuits, unless of course they have already covered their page in them.
I would never do that to anyone.

I'm very selective about what I put up, I'm not going in there and photo-shopping flaws, etc, but I am sure not posting a full rear in the sunlight photo of me in my two-piece. AAAUGH, I am MAD! So enough of that. Here's a nice web appropriate picture of myself to cheer me up:


- People posting f*cked up picture of me in public places!!
- People that use 'lol', 'u', '2', 'tmw', '4' etc, constantly. Annoying.
- People who have no cohones. Unfortunately, this category includes me.
- People who are permanently up tight, on edge, on guard, en point. F*cking relax.
- People who truly believe that they are better and more important than anyone else.
- People who live big fat fake 'I'm so happy' lives to make sure nobody knows the truth.
- People who make it their life's business to figure out what you're doing with yours.

Oh hey, I guess just 'people' would cover it, right?

Fox, out.
OH wait that reminded me of one more!
- People who get hooked on stupid reality tv shows and talk about nothing else.

yes, I'm going to have one right now.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Is yucky.
I'm not saying that it wasn't my preparation of it that was the problem. I didn't try anything too fancy, some onions, garlic, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
I didn't burn it. I did't over season it.
It just plain doesn't taste good.

I may be the only vegetarian in the world that doesn't really like vegetables.
I mean I like a few. Squash. Pumpkin. Potato. You see where this is going.
The ones I should eat, the green leafy types, the vibrant coloured ones (although I do like beets - wait - oh yeah), I just don't groove on' em.

I like spinach. I see a lot of spinach in my future.
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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Neighbourhood Church, TO

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Saturday evening walk with Mom

The house that I live in is the house I grew up in. My parents bought it about 30 years ago, and I moved back in here on my own 2 and half years ago. I love it, and although these two years have not been the happiest for me, living here has given me great comfort at times.

Yesterday my Mother and I went for a walk in the neighbourhood, specifically the road that runs behind our property.

This is the old church:
This is the old Sunday school (funny because it's bigger and a bit of a walk away!):
Both of these buildings are over 100 years old, and are now private residences. What cool places to live!

A bunch of us kids used to hang together, and had the run of this road, which of course is much different now. But some things are still recognisable.

This little tree tunnel used to be the thruway we used to travel from our yard (before they bought this place my parents rented a house owned by the Anglican church on our road), to Jacobs Point road. I used to dream about it and considered it quite magical. A passage to another world, perhaps?
The trees are stripped by the latest hurricane, but you can imagine them in full leaf.

The road is still slightly magical, we came across a small stable that neither of us had any idea was there. We spent some time talking to the beautiful stallion that lives there (who of course ran inside when I picked up the camera to snap a shot of him) :)

And then there was this beautiful sunset as we walked back home:

It was quite nostalgic, and made me so happy to live where I do, surrounded by so many memories.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


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I dislike the word 'goals'. Even typing it makes me belly go all punkerfly. I feel as if the second I 'set a goal', I am setting myself up for a fail. So in order to think around this mental block, I have chosen to use the word 'aspiration'. Because one definition of aspire is:
2. fly high: to soar to a great height

The other includes the g word so I'll cheerfully ignore it. I love ignoring things I don't like (yes, that will be addressed at some future point in my self improvement journey).
Goal feels like slogging through muck and mire to a destination that may or may not be reachable. If I am aspiring, I'm soaring to a greater height. I am already flying.

a flying fox, hee, i'm so punny
My biggest self imposed obstacle has been the bigger is better mind set. I'm going to lose 20 pounds! before Christmas. I'm going to get my FLMI designation! before Spring. I'm going to organise this house within an inch of it's life! before winter. I'm going to straighten out my relationship(s)! before 2011.
Before I even start, I'm self talking about how impossible THAT is going to be.

So today, starting now, my first focus is to break my big fat aspirations into tiny bite size aspirations.

weight loss  holistic well being
- eat for energy
- eat for body/mind balance
- three branched excercise approach: cardio, weight lifting, yoga; a lot of a little of each.

designation education
- read text book for a half hour a day
- once finished, complete the workbook
- then schedule the test

perfect house small changes and spot cleaning 3 times a week
 - assign each room a week
 - peruse home decorating books for easy, impactful ideas
 - put aside $ specifically for house reno projects

recently reorganised living room for prime space utilisation
 perfect relationships maximise interaction
 - communicate honestly
 - make my feelings, needs and desires transparent
 - empathise

So there it is. A lot of this I am doing currently, not as structured or focused, but I find setting things down makes me hold myself more accountable.
I have found many resources for ideas and enlightenment online, one site I recently found and greatly appreciate is

There is so much support out there. For me, for everyone. You (I) just have to look for it. And ask for it.

Happy Journey!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Pouring it out for my absent homie

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010


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Dramatic Squirrel

My inner voice is an hysterical drama queen. I've been super sketchy for a few days now, so I sat down with her, and was like, "what's up?".
"OMFG! My life is SO F*CKED UP I want to die!!! (exclamation points ad nauseum)
Ok, ok, so lets calm down and use our big girl voice and try that again.
"I am VERY frustrated, and VERY unhappy about some major aspects of my life"

So, that's better than taking every Rx drug in the cabinet and heading out for a moonlight swim (oh hey, if I ever do disappear never to be found it is purely coincidental and not intentional but, well, ironic).

Still, it's a pretty strong indication that there needs to be some changes 'round hurr, y'all.

At work today we were treated (and it was a treat) to a mini seminar by 'don't call him a motivational' speaker Clint Swindall. He started off with a story that hit real close:

"There was an young man, visiting an old man, who owned an old dog. The young man sat on the old man's porch with them for a spell, when he noticed the old dog was doing a lot more whimpering and groaning than is usual for even an old dog. So he asked the old man, What's up with your dog? And the old man replied, He's layin' on a nail, and it bothers him some. So the young man, like, wt?, says, Well, why'nt he move?!. To which the old man says, like, duh, I guess it ain't painin' him near enough for that!"

Hello, epiphany. I've been layin on a couple'a damn nails for a long time. Whimpering and moaning about them. But never getting off my old rotten ass and moving to a more prime porch spot. Because, you know, what if that so called prime spot sucks ass? What if there are worse nails over there, than there are here? And I'm kinda used to these nails, they suck, but at least the spots they're pinching and poking have become quite numb by now. Those new maybe nails may be in new un-numb places! Why would I go and do that?

So, thanks to Clint and my life coach, I am taking a closer look at things. Dramatic rodents and all.

Who knows. Maybe I will get off those g-damned nails sooner than I imagine.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Things I loved yesterday

  • A sister that sleeps in on vacation (the early riser gene skipped both of us!)
  • gypsy rose tea with agave
  • double shot espresso
  • Mac cosmetics
  • prosecco, pasta & profiteroles
  • talking all kinds of sh*t with sis
  • champagne & strawberries!
  • singing 'man of constant sorrow' in the shower. forgetting the words :)