Saturday evening walk with Mom

The house that I live in is the house I grew up in. My parents bought it about 30 years ago, and I moved back in here on my own 2 and half years ago. I love it, and although these two years have not been the happiest for me, living here has given me great comfort at times.

Yesterday my Mother and I went for a walk in the neighbourhood, specifically the road that runs behind our property.

This is the old church:

This is the old Sunday school (funny because it's bigger and a bit of a walk away!):

Both of these buildings are over 100 years old, and are now private residences. What cool places to live!

A bunch of us kids used to hang together, and had the run of this road, which of course is much different now. But some things are still recognisable.

This little tree tunnel used to be the thruway we used to travel from our yard (before they bought this place my parents rented a house owned by the Anglican church on our road), to Jacobs Point road. I used to dream about it and considered it quite magical. A passage to another world, perhaps?

The trees are stripped by the latest hurricane, but you can imagine them in full leaf.

The road is still slightly magical, we came across a small stable that neither of us had any idea was there. We spent some time talking to the beautiful stallion that lives there (who of course ran inside when I picked up the camera to snap a shot of him) :)

And then there was this beautiful sunset as we walked back home:

It was quite nostalgic, and made me so happy to live where I do, surrounded by so many memories.

Mombacho!

Aspirations

I dislike the word 'goals'. Even typing it makes me belly go all punkerfly. I feel as if the second I 'set a goal', I am setting myself up for a fail. So in order to think around this mental block, I have chosen to use the word 'aspiration'. Because one definition of aspire is:

2.	fly high: to soar to a great height

The other includes the g word so I'll cheerfully ignore it. I love ignoring things I don't like (yes, that will be addressed at some future point in my self improvement journey).
Goal feels like slogging through muck and mire to a destination that may or may not be reachable. If I am aspiring, I'm soaring to a greater height. I am already flying.

a flying fox, hee, i'm so punny

My biggest self imposed obstacle has been the bigger is better mind set. I'm going to lose 20 pounds! before Christmas. I'm going to get my FLMI designation! before Spring. I'm going to organise this house within an inch of it's life! before winter. I'm going to straighten out my relationship(s)! before 2011.
Before I even start, I'm self talking about how impossible THAT is going to be.

So today, starting now, my first focus is to break my big fat aspirations into tiny bite size aspirations.

weight loss  holistic well being
- eat for energy
- eat for body/mind balance
- three branched excercise approach: cardio, weight lifting, yoga; a lot of a little of each.

designation education
- read text book for a half hour a day
- once finished, complete the workbook
- then schedule the test

perfect house small changes and spot cleaning 3 times a week
 - assign each room a week
 - peruse home decorating books for easy, impactful ideas
 - put aside $ specifically for house reno projects



recently reorganised living room for prime space utilisation

 perfect relationships maximise interaction
 - communicate honestly
 - make my feelings, needs and desires transparent
 - empathise

So there it is. A lot of this I am doing currently, not as structured or focused, but I find setting things down makes me hold myself more accountable.
I have found many resources for ideas and enlightenment online, one site I recently found and greatly appreciate is http://www.care2.com/

There is so much support out there. For me, for everyone. You (I) just have to look for it. And ask for it.

Happy Journey!

Pouring it out for my absent homie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

Lenore

Dramatic Squirrel

My inner voice is an hysterical drama queen. I've been super sketchy for a few days now, so I sat down with her, and was like, "what's up?".
"OMFG! My life is SO F*CKED UP I want to die!!! (exclamation points ad nauseum)
Ok, ok, so lets calm down and use our big girl voice and try that again.
"I am VERY frustrated, and VERY unhappy about some major aspects of my life"

So, that's better than taking every Rx drug in the cabinet and heading out for a moonlight swim (oh hey, if I ever do disappear never to be found it is purely coincidental and not intentional but, well, ironic).

Still, it's a pretty strong indication that there needs to be some changes 'round hurr, y'all.

At work today we were treated (and it was a treat) to a mini seminar by 'don't call him a motivational' speaker Clint Swindall. He started off with a story that hit real close:

"There was an young man, visiting an old man, who owned an old dog. The young man sat on the old man's porch with them for a spell, when he noticed the old dog was doing a lot more whimpering and groaning than is usual for even an old dog. So he asked the old man, What's up with your dog? And the old man replied, He's layin' on a nail, and it bothers him some. So the young man, like, wt?, says, Well, why'nt he move?!. To which the old man says, like, duh, I guess it ain't painin' him near enough for that!"

Hello, epiphany. I've been layin on a couple'a damn nails for a long time. Whimpering and moaning about them. But never getting off my old rotten ass and moving to a more prime porch spot. Because, you know, what if that so called prime spot sucks ass? What if there are worse nails over there, than there are here? And I'm kinda used to these nails, they suck, but at least the spots they're pinching and poking have become quite numb by now. Those new maybe nails may be in new un-numb places! Why would I go and do that?

So, thanks to Clint and my life coach, I am taking a closer look at things. Dramatic rodents and all.

Who knows. Maybe I will get off those g-damned nails sooner than I imagine.

Things I loved yesterday

• A sister that sleeps in on vacation (the early riser gene skipped both of us!)
• gypsy rose tea with agave
• double shot espresso
• Mac cosmetics
• prosecco, pasta & profiteroles
• talking all kinds of sh*t with sis
• champagne & strawberries!
• singing 'man of constant sorrow' in the shower. forgetting the words :)