Today

• I am thankful for diazepam. And a Mother who works for the Dr. so that I have a direct line to him at times like these.
• I am worried that I may never sleep, or eat again.
• I am amazed at the small spark of hope that doesn't extinguish even though it has been ground into the dust.
• I am frightened by extreme emotional shifts.
• I am afraid that I am suffering karmic payback for anyone I have hurt in the past.

To those people, I am deeply sorry. I had no idea. I couldn't relate.

Jason, when you told me that you cried for days, weeks.
Paul, when you told me that unrequited love was the worst punishment in the universe.
Mike, when you begged me for another chance and said you'd never love another.

Whatever I thought, or felt about those moments, I could not identify with the type of pain that you were going through.

So, now I know. If this makes me a more empathetic person in the future, perhaps this is all part of the path.

But you know what? It sucks. Big time sucks.