Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Under Renovation

Me, that is.

I live alone, and have only a few close friends. One of the things I'm striving towards is more honesty in my relationships.

My sister and I are quite honest with each other, we've come to a place in our relationship where we are not fearful of insult, we know that our love for each other trumps all.

But. Unfortunately this hasn't been true for all of my relationships. And looking back, I realise that they have suffered for it.

I read this:
Honoring Health
And value the advice I've found here.  

There was a post on dealing with anger, and oh boy, do I need to learn how to do that. I have a wicked temper, fast to flare and slow to burn out. I don't like it, I hate to hear/see myself like that, but I've been mostly unable to control it.

My coach has given me some helpful tips, which have given me insight on the probable stimuli related to my nasty temper. I've come to view myself as an erupting volcano, always something hot bubbling under the surface, which may or may not explode at unpredictable intervals.

Yeah, I'm a fun gal.

I could go on about fall out, ash clouds, and how they effect the whole of my life. But I hate to belabour a point.

What I have started to do and find extremely helpful is keep "The Book of Grievances". Its all about letting go of disappointment. If there is something in my life that is starting or keeping that magma on slow burn, I need to identify it. I need to take away its power by exposing it. Then, I need to let it go.

Tough stuff. Sometimes very tough and not willing to go at first light.

Worth it. If you're out there holding on like grim death to something that is bad for you, I recommend you try it.

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